BATTLE STATIONS!

We have all been there, we are on the sofa in our pyjamas slobbing out and watching tv when you get the phone call.....the dreaded phone call that says people are dropping over in about 10 minutes.
Biting back the urge to pretend that you have the plague and are in quarantine you say 'of course it'll be lovely to see you'.
As you put down the phone time starts to go in slow motion as you look around the room. There are dirty clothes strewn over the sofas, a myriad of toys and plates and sweet wrappers/general rubbish covering the floor. And you don't even want to think about the kitchen.

So here's what I do....first things first grab some laundry baskets, the saviour of speed cleaning! Pick up all the dirty washing and shove it in the washing machine, this will give the illusion that you have been doing laundry instead of comatose on the sofa covered in biscuit crumbs! With the now empty washing basket grab all the toys, books games and detritus and shove them in and put the basket in your bedroom and close the door, you can deal with this later.

Next thing to grab is a plastic bag for all the rubbish, don't be too fussy there isn't time, if its shoved down the side of the sofa out of sight then leave it until later just do the parts where the eye naturally wanders to.

I don't have a dishwasher and need to do all my dishes by hand so I fill up the sink with hot soapy water and cram as many plates and cups in as I can, this will tell your guests that you are in the middle of a domestic process! Quickly wipe the sides down and if you have time then sweep the floor, this way your kitchen will smell better and look hygienic!

Next task is the hallway, my hallway is constantly scattered with shoes, school bags and books, bike helmets etc and knowing this I have permanently implemented a storage system where I can shove the mess away in under a minute, under the stairs I have a big ottoman for all the shoes, hooks for the bags and a few storage boxes where I can  cram the rest of the things like school books, hairbrushes etc. I recommend you do the same, storage boxes give the eye a uncluttered look and the illusion that you're more organised that you actually are!

Bathroom.....quickly pick up all the clothes and towels that are undoubtably on the floor instead of in the wash bin, squirt some cleaner round the sink and bath and leave it while you wipe over the toilet and put toilet cleaner round the bowl. Now wipe off the sink and bath and put a clean towel on the rail. If you have time straighten up the bottles of shower gel etc.

Now just to fluff up the scatter cushions in the living room and run the Hoover around if time permits. I always keep disposable polishing wipes in with my cleaning supplies for such occasions, so you an just wipe down the living room surfaces quickly and easily instead of getting out the polish and cloths.

By now you should have a house that looked 'lived in' rather than a candidate for hazmat suits!

Now brush your hair, get dressed and, the most important thing, no matter how tidy it looks apologise for the mess! This makes people think that this is your messy so your clean must be spectacular!